totally bride

It's no secret wedding planning wasn't really my thing.  I am so Type A- I want it all done now, done just right, done by me... that doesn't really work when planning a big wedding with lots of details.  So, wedding stuff was just really either totally hated or totally loved by me, not a whole lot of in between.  When it came to actually being a bride, I LOVED every second of it!  The showers, the luncheon, dress shopping- THAT was totally my thing!  So, here's my TOTALLY BRIDE post!  Well, here's one of probably a few!

A while ago I posted after my bridal portraits... the day itself was kind of a disaster, including but not limited to forgetting my shoes, bra, & jewelry and the Laura Mercier makeup artist claiming I had never made an appointment with her.  Despite all of that, I am really, really happy with how my pictures came out!  Never a fan of solo shots, I'll bite the bullet and share a few of my faves... Kelli & Brendan Ahern did not disappoint!  I can't wait to see wedding pics!

Dress shopping was nothing but wonderful!  I started looking when we first got engaged but didn't make the big purchase until November, I think.  I first tried THE ONE on at one of the first boutiques I went to but just couldn't make myself take the plunge plus not all my sisters were with me at the time so I knew I couldn't make a final decision then!  THEN one weekend when Karl came home to conquer a bunch of wedding stuff with me, my whole family + Karl & I went to Addison for some errands, including a trip to Circle Park Bridal.  Karl & my dad killed time at a man store across the street while the 5 girls ventured inside.  Well, I saw the dress I had loved at one of the first places I had been to, tried it on, and we all loved it!  So there you have it... I knew it was perfect- it had the feel for the exact wedding I wanted- a little glamorous with a touch of beading and sparkles but vintage and sweet with the lace and tiers.  Karl didn't see it until our wedding day but getting his guesses as to what he thought it looked like beforehand was hilarious.

So, I'm apparently good for my word.  Until tomorrow.  You thought you could escape our wedding.  Ha.

Hannah BURTON

I'm BAAACKKKKK

The wedding is over, wedded bliss has begun, and I am bound and determined to update my few and faithful readers on a) the last 3 months that I have failed to blog about and b) more frequently over the coming months.

(Correction, K & I aren't actually still home in Arlington... I'm so bad.)  So, Karl & I are still in Arlington- packing, purchasing, spending gift cards (cha ching)- preparing to live a life in exile where the Target and Crate & Barrel names have never been spoken. I seriously feel like I'm shopping for the last time in my life, my mom has to frequently remind me that I can choose to take a day trip to access what I consider modern-day commodities. Ridiculous. We'll roll out of the grand state of Texas on Sunday, UHaul in tow, to make the 18ish hour drive to South Carolina... only for me to hop back on a plane next Saturday to be here in Arlington for Callie's wedding week... wowza. Want to visit crazy town USA? Come to The Cuppett's house- 2 weddings, 4 weeks.

I want to post about our whole wedding week but I think I'll take it one event at a time... Karl got home the weekend before our wedding. It was so so so wonderful to have him home! We immediately had to kick it into gear since he hasn't been here since December and get him pleasantly acquainted with all things wedding. We rushed his suit to be altered and then had a fantastic time at the couples shower my Aunt Sally & Aunt Suzie hosted for us- it was INCREDIBLE and such a huge blessing. We ate delicious food with sweet friends and family, laughed so hard it was sort of embarrassing at Karl's & my attempt at the newlywed/dating game, and were blessed by dozens of gifts to help start our home and begin our lives together- it couldn't have been better and I am so so so thankful to Suzie & Sally for the shower!

The details were so, so perfect!

We died laughing at our desperate attempt at "The Dating/Newlywed Game"

And were blessed beyond measure by tons of sweet things to fill our home, including but not limited to the cookbook my Gammy wrote that I have finally earned!

We enjoyed the company of so many sweet, sweet friends!

You'll be hearing from me tomorrow... swear I'm posting daily for the next 5 days.  SWEAR!

Hannah BURTON

thoughts on a friday night

Well, yesterday ended a big year for me, the year of 21. So, in honor of turning 22 I think a list is in order. I believe I'll write the highlights of my 21st year of life...

In no particular order...
Had my first alcoholic beverage
I graduated college
Passed the NCLEX
Became an engaged woman
Gained alumni status as a Pi Phi
Went on my first no parents trip (ahem, SBX)
Had my first night out on Dickson Street
Went back to Africa
Moved all my belongings in with a boy
Have my name on the title of a car

I should also acknowledge that tomorrow marks one year of being engaged. Holy Crap. I never ever ever thought that I would ever be engaged for an entire year. Now, I should first say that Karl knows me better than I know myself and proposed in the perfect timing; there is no way I could've ever planned the entire wedding AND actually hand crafted details during school, i.e. I couldn't be getting married any sooner than 3 weeks from now. BUTTTT my cousin, Lincoln, appropriately told me 3 years ago that being engaged for a full year was a horrible horrible thing... and it is. I should've listened to Lincoln. I am SO ready to be married to Karl.

Well, enough of that. So, happy 22nd to me and happy 1st birthday to that thing on my left ring finger.

Well, maybe I have & maybe I haven't

Some may say I've turned a corner. My sisters would probably just say they've gotten lucky the past 4 days. It appears as though the cycle of stress is on a downward slope as wedded bliss is rapidly approaching. In my bout of venue-less panic last week, a dozen or so church friends dared to step up to the plate and take a swing at helping to conquer my ever-growing to-do list of crafts and crap. They have been immensely helpful and my pile is getting smaller as is my level of stress and panic and consequently, my temper. Ha. So, although I still have a million things to do and need a ton of help, the help has arrived and, I believe, is surely here to stay until August 22nd. Then, my parents are on their own to pick up the pieces. hahaha, just kidding. But seriously, I wouldn't stick around if I were them. I booked Karl's one-way ticket to DFW today so I guess that means this is all really happening... well, the plane ticket plus the fact that our ceremony programs were printed today equal for real wedding. Wowzers. 32 days and then I can get off the crazy person train; you can thank me later. As for Callie, she still gets to ride that train for an additional 28 days after I do at which time I will just watch in awe. Poor girl. As for the rest of my sisters... they're all in shambles too. Maddie can't keep liquid in her mouth at dinner time as it just bubbles out and onto her shirt because she is so torn up over all things wedding. Emma resorted to taking a self-defense class in case things start to get physical at The Cuppett house. All I'm saying is only come over if you can defend yourself... and if you know how to tie bows.

sidenote: you may be wondering why I haven't had any pictures up lately. that would be related to the fact that I have worn only pajamas and no makeup for over 30 days in a row.

The Hills

Well, I thought since I use this blog as sort of a journal for myself I couldn't pass up an opportunity to document this life milestone. This year is huge: college graduation, getting my RN license, and the ending of The Hills era. Let me repeat that, The Hills ending marks the ending of an era. I know this is ridiculous but between that show and Laguna Beach, those shows have run throughout my high school and college days. I seriously felt emotional watching the series finale... although, Kristen, you going to "find yourself" in Europe will probably be some spin-off show in which case this post is going to be completely obsolete. I was quickly brought back down to reality and reminded how psycho this show is when I saw the ensem that Spencer wore when he "crashed" the aftershow party. OK, it's fine. I'm over it. Bye Hills, bye LC, Lo, Kristen, Brody (gag, tool bag), Audrina, Ryan Cab, Stephanie, Holly, and all you other barbies. Welcome to the real world.

Problem Solver.

So I'm finalizing our wedding programs and have found myself in a small quandary... what's new? This one I can solve. As I'm listing our wedding party and their relationship to Karl or myself, I'm noticing that the one phrase, "college friend of the bride," or "high school friend of the groom" just seriously minimizes these men & women that we have asked to stand beside us as we make the biggest commitment of our lives. So, I think I'm going to make the executive decision to nix it. I mean, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with listing the relationship of the bride or groom to each member of the wedding party, BUT, I don't think I'm allowed to put, "Charis Anderson- Lifelong friend of the Bride, high school friend of the groom, college roommate to the bride, confidant, nursing school peer, and belly-dancing partner" on the program.

Just a thought on this delightful Friday afternoon spent with a TV tray in front of me for the past 8 hours as I type my life away on Microsoft Word...

Quicksand.

I am sinking. I am taking the NCLEX (aka the most important test I have EVER taken) in 24 hours, I just found out that my venue won't hold the number of guests we are expecting, and have had more emotional breakdowns today than I have in the past year combined. I thought my church would be an appropriate place to study today- as I need Jesus- so I went and plopped myself down in our quiet foyer, strategically positioned under a cross- haha- anyways, I watched as our pastor changed the marquee to read, "Choose Joy Everyday." I'm trying. Like, I am really trying. It's hard to "Choose Joy" when you are having to search for a new venue 5 weeks before your wedding, after invitations have been printed, rehearsal dinner location has been chosen, hotels have been booked... I mean, really, am I starring in a reality TV show that I don't know about? I legitimately feel like things happen to me and only me, like, who else would this series of events happen to? Oh, probably the girl that sets herself up for them. Anyways, here I am, studying my brains out for the NCLEX, hoping I pass so that I can actually use the degree that I worked my tail off for over the past 4 years, desperately wanting August 21st to be here so that this journey to the altar will be OVER, and getting really tired of people telling me that, "in 10 years you won't even remember," and "it's all going to be OK." Yeah, I know it's all going to be OK because I have faith and salvation in the God that makes it all OK... BUT that doesn't mean that this doesn't suck MAJORLY 100% ANNNND guess what? I AM GOING TO REMEMBER IT IN 10 YEARS and it's super sad if you don't remember your wedding day details 10 years after you painstakingly planned them. Well, I'm trying to choose joy. Maybe it will be easier to choose joy after my venue has been chosen, you know, that venue that I'm inviting over 400 guests to join me at in 5 weeks.

What am I doing?

On a separate note: I have been a horrible friend lately and totally neglectful of my sweet friends that I have long-owed a phone call to. I am desperate to catch up on life and am just praising the Lord that NCLEX will be over in less than a day so I can get back to life. So, please forgive my absence as less important things have been overgrowing my time the past few weeks, such as Marlene Hurst and her 27 hours of review video lectures.

PS- You know who at you know which venue: you are a miserable, miserable lying & deceptive man. I hope you never book another event in your life.

Excuse me, what?

So, mine & K's wedding is in 51 days... excuse me, what? I literally have the hugest butterflies in my stomach over everything that's left to do. I recently told someone that I could've gotten engaged last week and already have planned what I have planned over the past 11 months. I am a super-control freak, major Type A personality, and am just all tore up that I still have so much to do. Ha. Seriously, though. Anyways, bottom line is that with or without the details, I am getting married in 51 days and am just thrilled about that- thrilled to be married, to finally be with Karl for more than a week at a time, thrilled that planning will be over, thrilled that a week long Mexico vacay will be a matter of hours away. Ahhhh, sounds sweet.

I feel like a bad blogger for taking such long hiatus' in between posts so I thought I would try and snap out of my wedding planning funk and come up with a list on why my life doesn't suck as much as I usually think it does and why I am so happy it's July 1st...
-As previously mentioned, I'm getting married in 51 days= cra cra & awesome
-I get to see Karl in 45 more days
-My birthday is in 28 days
-My sweet cousin is expecting Baby Valin pretty much any day now and I am just so excited for him to get here
-My fave holiday is July 4th. I wear red shoes with white stars on them every year, once a year. Can't wait to put them on in 3 days.
-Well, thats about it. I should try harder on the list next time.

In other news: my life is no longer consumed 100% by wedding planning... it now shares 50% of its time with studying for state boards aka NCLEX. woof. I never thought I would wake up and have to choose between sending harassing emails to sub-standard vendors and sitting at the computer watching Marlene Hurst lecture on body systems for 27 hours. There's a first time for everything, huh?

Lastly: A quick and hopefully non-spoiling review of Eclipse... BEST.MOVIE.I.HAVE.EVER.SEEN.

Not Right.

I know I have a few posts promised to catch up on regarding Sumter, Karl, and two and half weeks of South Carolina bliss but I just thought now would be a timely post for the following...

just got home from my bridal portraits. sounds fun right? Should've been. I woke up on the... wrong side of the bed, ahem, perfect way to start the day. Took a look in the kitchen and found the bridal bouquet that my mom picked up from a florist yesterday- heinous. I picked the florist randomly just to do the bouquet for today and specifically told her exactly what I wanted, I even told her what to not use! Naturally, she used a few of what I said, "please do not use" to and the flowers looked nothing like what I asked for. So, I spent the next few minutes getting deeper into my "wrong side of the bed" and cutting out all the wilted crappy parts.

Next, my mom gives me a talk on how nothing is going to go perfectly today. Great! Glad I have something to look forward to. A day full of imperfection. Ideal for my Type A personality.

Onto my disaster of a makeup appointment. I have confirmed this appintment with the obscure "Rachel" at Laura Mercier twice in the past week. I show up and am told that nobody there has a 2 o'clock appointment. Awesome. Obviously I have a bridezilla moment. My makeup gets done... 30 minutes late and dipping into my hair appointment.

Get to my hair appointment late. It goes OK although I've apparently chosen an extremely difficult look. Perfect choice, Hannah. Running late, again.

Mom + Sisters pick me up from the hair appointment to go straight to the bridals which are over an hour away in Anna, Texas... I'm going to have to change in the car... but wait, where are my shoes/bra/jewelry?? Oh. That's right. They are at home... now 30 minutes away.

Naturally I'm crying. And my behavior is so ridiculous that I "could be on TV" according to one unnamed member of my family. Great. Needless to say, we turned around as I can't go braless and shoeless to my bridal portraits. I made Callie call the photog and tell them we would be late... they were gracious, thank The Lord. I proceded to change, in the second row of a Surburban, into my wedding gown.

Rough. Day.

Home?

Well, the post is slightly overdue. I've been rather perplexed as to the most tactful way to write it...
I've been in Sumter now for 12 days and I have 4 days left here until I fly back to Texas for the remainder of the summer and time before K & I's wedding. This isn't my first time to visit Sumter but it is my first time to forcefully consider Sumter, "home." My dad and I rolled in two Sundays ago with a full UHaul full of my stuff, drove into the driveway of the home that K & I blindly signed a year-long lease to, nervously pushed a key into the lock of the house, turned it, and stepped into what will be our first home for the next 12 months. Home. Woof. I say "woof" not to the home itself, rather to this citytownvillage called Sumter that our home sits in. Back to our house... I was delighted to find it in perfect condition. K & I have been praying for a home that meets our needs AND wants for a long time. It is big enough so that all our friends and family can come visit us and stay for months at a time, comfortable :) It seems as though nobody has ever lived here. Karl took so much time and energy to help me make it as neat, tidy, organized, and homey as he could- carefully placing each book, plate, container, hanger, blanket, and pillow just as he knew I would. He has been great! If only everything outside the house were as great as it were inside... one of our bored days we ventured into the bustling town of Sumter. All this girl wanted was a stroll around some sibilance of a department store- a Target, Kohls, Old Navy, Dillards, ANYTHING... nope... Belk. That's it. Belk, KMart, & Big Lots. I never, ever, ever thought I would wish for a Kohls or have excitement over a Big Lots. Well, the time has come. More on two weeks with Karl, furniture shopping, & this grand ol town of Sumter later...

Here's to hoping I make it home without another emotional breakdown, which is unlikely considering Leah & Mike's wedding is tomorrow and I'm not there.

airports: the good, the bad, & the ugly.

I'm at the airport seeing my dad off from South Carolina and I just had to blog about this because I'm a little appalled... let me backtrack...

I've been to college. I was in a sorority. I went on a Spring Break cruise with 27 of my sorority sisters where we pretty much saw every ridiculous thing there was to see. I have heard every drink combination ordered, witnessed sinful amounts of alcohol consumed as an onlooker with jaw dropped... but here I am in the coffee cafe at the Columbia, South Carolina airport at 8:38 AM and girlfriend just ordered a Michelob Ultra and asked if she could "start a tab?" At 8:38, AM. I'm drinking coffee, eating a sausage egg croisant, and wiping sleep from my eyes and you are starting a tab??? I'm bewildered.

Letting the cat out of the bag.

photo by Maura Johnson


It's Friday night, May 21st, I'm currently home alone- well, unless you count my abnormally humanized dog, Billi. My parents left for the weekend in celebration of their like millionth-something anniversary so it's "anything goes" around here. I'm forced to play chauffeur, which I hate, so I just dropped baby sister Emma off at my high school alma mater for a play called, "Urinetown," ew. Well, that's all basically irrelevant. I just thought I needed some sort of segue into the following...

KARL & I WON 3RD PLACE IN THE CRATE & BARREL CONTEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Could I be more excited? No. I don't think so. Want to hear more about my dramatic week full of C&B surprises? Keep reading...

We found out that we were 1 of the 50 semi-finalists a while ago- thanks to all of you we were in the top 50 most voted for couples (#22 to be exact :) ) which was all we needed to move on. This got us in this sweet picture.
This heart is full of the pictures of the 50 semi-finalists! I think it's really cool; mine & K's is towards the top in the middle!

Last Tuesday I got home from running wedding errands to find a FedEx envelope here at home addressed to Karl & I from New York City... weird. I open it and scan the cover letter topping a stack of papers... It reads, "Dear Hannah & Karl: Important notice! You entered the Crate and Barrel Ultimate Wedding Contest... (blah blah blah) your entry was selected as a potential winner in our contest. Please read this letter carefully, and follow the directions exactly as stated, as your eligibility depends upon your adherence to its terms." The rest of the letter goes on the give super explicit instructions on the W9 & two affidavits that K & I each need to have filled out and NOTARIZED and overnighted back to NYC. OK, calm. This wouldn't be such a big deal if it weren't for the fact that KARL IS IN IRAQ! What the heck? Where do you find a notary in Iraq??? Obviously I send Karl a super bossy email and tell him that if he messes this up he blows all our chances of winning any sort of prize. AND at this point we don't even know if we have won a prize and if so, what prize we have won. Needless to say, Karl, after a 12 hour shift of manual labor, is able to find a notary and scans/emails his affidavit back to me. OK. First hoop jumped through successfully. FedEx picks up the packet on Wednesday and it's back in NYC just in time.

and there's me with the priceless (or should I say $2,500) envelope before I sent it off!!

So, Thursday I get an email from a Crate & Barrel exec...
"Dear Hannah and Karl,

Now that we’ve received your signed documents, I am pleased to present you with the official prize letter for 3rd Place. Congratulations!

Please be sure to read the letter carefully as there is confidentiality language we need you to adhere to.

The sooner you can sign and fax back – or scan and email back – to the numbers in the letter, the sooner we can announce your prize and the sooner you will receive your prize. If you can do this today, it would be greatly appreciated."

Great...now I get to have Karl rush around again to print/sign/scan/email all while he's in Iraq. ANNNNDDD we both have to keep our mouths shut because this time we are signing saying we won't tell a soul!! BOOOO!! I am THE WORST secret keeper and have had so many people asking about the contest, I hate lying and saying, "I still don't know." Woof. BUT WE WERE SO EXCITED AT THIS POINT! I had such an overwhelming feeling of joy, thankfulness, excitement... boy are we humbled by this recognition and acknowledgement of our story. So grateful for the votes of loved ones and strangers alike- I just can't even verbalize the excitement!!

Now back to today, Friday, I get an email from another contest sponsor in LA (no big deal, K&I are just an east coast & west coast known couple at this point...) who tells me that they will announce the 1st, 2nd, & 3rd place winners to the public on MONDAY, which is actually the day you will all read this.

K&I are overjoyed. After the Tuesday envelope arrived, I kept brainstorming with my family all the possible prizes that we may or may not have won. Part of the paperwork involved was K&I signing that we agreed to pay all taxes associated with the $100,00 wedding (aka grand prize) or any prize we may win... My dad & I started brainstorming that a little... I'll just say that after we realized what those taxes would look like on $100,000 winnings, I think 3rd place is PERFECT for Karl and I :)

Thank you, thank you, thank you sweet friends for your votes, for sending the link to vote to your friends and family, for encouraging K & I. Thank you C&B- #3 out of over 9,000 entries- such a fantastic & amazing treat. Thank you sweet Lord for this precious and fun blessing- we are so excited, feel so undeserving, humbled, blessed, and in awe.

Go check out the announcement at Crate & Barrel
Love,
Hannah & Karl

And if you never saw the actual entry, here it is :) click on the pictures to enlarge!

New Attitude, Sort of.

So, to recap the past week:
I celebrated with my friends our time at the U of A at a block party on one of my favorite blocks. It was fantastic- great weather, delicious food, the most incredible friends, and the best way to end the semester.




I babysat my favorite little Fayetteville toddler for the last time. Love little girl "N" that I'll miss so much!

I was pinned as an graduate of a Bachelor of Science in Nursing program at The University of Arkansas' Eleanor Mann School of Nursing. It was kind of a big deal. I addressed my class as Class Representative in a speech that forced me to fight back tears, a little anger, and a lot of happiness.


I had "brunch" (long story, for another post) at Pi Phi for the last time next to sweet friends, & I walked the stage alongside peers that have drug me thru the fire as my sweet, supportive family watched from the bleachers.



Then I packed up my entire life, drove it home in a UHaul going 55 miles per hour, and put it all in storage.

This week has been spent meeting with our wedding planner, caterer, DJ, stationary designer & printer... I have spent hours on TheKnot.com, flipping thru magazines, thinking about measurements, talking about hair & makeup... my life has made a complete turn around from 100% school to 100% wedding. Today marks 100 days until the wedding- can't wait to shift my focus to things beyond August 21st.

The Good 'Ol Days

My Genius 'mate thought to record the Oprah episode totally devoted to interviewing Laura Bush and her precious twin daughters. This morning I thought, eh, I have nothing else to watch, might as well. Best decision I have ever made. I can't help but review a few highs from the past hour, one of the best hours I've spent this past week...

-I have teared up multiple times, not really 100% why
- Round of applause to Oprah for leaving her extremely left-winged opinion out. Thanks for the pleasant surprise. Not shockingly, she obviously didn't stop herself from cutting off even Laura Bush mid-sentence. Sorry, Laura. I'll apologize for her.
- The Bush's rent puzzles to enjoy because they are expensive to buy, that's nice.
- Very interesting to hear how 9/11 was for The Bush Family- must have been terrifying to be in a bunker- literally- in the bowels of The White House
- George (first name basis) calls the swimming pool at their ranch, "The whining pool," because the twins whined for it so much he finally gave in and had one installed... sounds like my dad
- Makes me love and appreciate The Bush Dynasty so much more now that I've experienced, ahem, otherwise...
- Their love and devotion to The Lonestar State & mention of our state flower (Bluebonnets, duh) makes my heart swell with pride & joy

I cannot wait to read her book. The sweetest, classiest, most delightful woman.

153.

UPDATE: Sidenote- this is more for my own memory than reader entertainment... So, just got back from the aforementioned test. I passed. It took me 3 hours and 180 questions but I passed. I left the room (almost last) and immediately emailed Karl. Walked the sidewalk down Maple, checked my voicemail, and listened to "Beth" tell me that Karl and I got the house we have been pining for. I passed and we have a home. I passed, I am done with college, and we are adults. I passed, I am done with college, we are adults, and I am getting married. I am about 5,000 steps closer to being married to Karl. Literally walked to my car in tears. Audible, big, warm, tears. This nightmare of education, the wonderful phenomenon of collegiate life, the tests, papers, horrible & wonderful teachers, checklists, syllabi... it's over. I finally got to talk to Karl on the phone via Skype. I think I said "it's over" about 100 times. I am in awe, but not really, because I believe in The Lord, in His faithfulness and goodness. As Karl said to me this morning, "remember God is graceful & loving & He will help you." I hung to that all day, as I feel I have for nursing school, and will continue to do the rest of my life. Praise God for His fun blessings. Praise. God. It's. Over. Praise God it's just beginning (Karl- can't wait to move into OUR HOUSE and LIVE WITH YOU!!)

After I passed the last test I will ever take in college (in case anyone forgot), I went and picked up my complimentary one year free membership to the U of A Alumni Association because lets face it, I'M AN ALUMNI!! Secondly, I went and ordered my final transcripts to be sent to the Texas State Board of Nursing because I'M TAKING THE NCLEX THIS SUMMER! Lastly, I went and picked up my BSN pin for the pinning ceremony on Friday because...I'M DONE WITH COLLEGE AND BEING PINNED AS A NURSE ON FRIDAY!! L.I.G. baby.

153. Why is that number significant? Because it's the number of tests I will have taken in college at the University of Arkansas as an undergraduate student as of 3 hours from now... which also happens to be the time I will be done with my undergrad career, NBD (no big deal). Should I knock on wood, though? If you read my previous post, you read that I have to pass this test in order to pull away from this city on Sunday, bags packed, never looking back. OK, so I'll look back, and come back, and walk back on memory lane. I know you're all thinking, "Zuh, she'll pass. Stop being dramatic." But let me tell you, out of the 40-something people in my class, I can almost promise at least 10 of us won't pass. Just saying. Not to jinx myself or make what I'm about to do any less special, BUT, I'm nervous. I want to go out with a bang... not a "WOO HOO, last test!... I mean, whoops... guess I'll have to re-do in two weeks..." Anyways, wish me (and Allie, and the other 40-something of our closest peers) luck as we slap good 'ol Nursing School a swift one on our way in to knock this last one out to the ballpark. Sayonara Eleanor Mann School of Nursing. Have fun wherever soul-less academic programs go to rot.

Bedrest, Qualms, & ATI

I stalk peoples blogs that I don't know and will never meet. Suit me. I came across a blog this morning written by a woman that recently had twins and was on "strict bedrest with bathroom privileges" for about 3 weeks before she had her babies. She described her bedrest daily schedule as follows: wake up, move from the bed to the couch, stay on the couch all day, get up to pee, get up to eat lunch, go back to the couch, pee, back to the couch, and then eventually back to bed at night... now I'm not pregnant but this sounds VERY familiar...

For the past 7 days I have been studying for this standardized test called ATI. Now, I'll spare you the gory details but basically it's a practice NCLEX (the RN license exam I will take this summer) that the U of A nursing school requires us to take. Basically here are my thoughts on ATI, my apologies if you've heard this rant before: the administration up here makes us take these ATI's as a means of seeing whether or not we are capable of passing the NCLEX upon graduation, statistically speaking. Why is this important to them, you ask? Oh, because we as students who work our butts off have grown near and dear to their hearts and they want to ensure that they have done their job in adequately educating us and equipping us to pass the test that determines if we are minimally capable of providing patient care. EHHHHH WRONG ANSWER! They put us through these tests (which, I may add are in no way, shape, or form required by ANY state board of nursing for sitting to take the NCLEX) to cover their butts and as a way to hope and pray that we pass the NCLEX so that they can continue to get funding for their less than renown nursing school. Here's the ugly... normally, when we don't pass these standardized bad-boys each semester, we have to take weekly remediation each semester and retake the specific ATI that we failed at the end of the following semester. So, you would think that since this is my last semester as a student, if I don't pass this last, big, and final ATI I would just go on my merry little way and pray a nice big prayer before I take the real NCLEX... no, not according to EMSON administration... get this, THEY ARE TELLING US THAT WE WILL STAY UP HERE FOR 2 WEEKS OF REMEDIATION AND THEN RETAKE THE (insert expletive) ATI! OK? no.

This brings me back to my initial thought... you can find me, on my couch, simply breaking to pee or eat, studying literally EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER LEARNED IN NURSING SCHOOL. No, not for the NCLEX but for the ATI. You are not welcome nursing school. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I am parting with such vices.

NOT HAPPY TO BE ON STUDY BEDREST! You can also feel free to bring me TCBY like the pregnant girl had brought to her.

I can almost taste it

One week from today I will be sitting in a packed up home, probably tearfully waiting on the arrival of my family from Texas to see me receive my Nursing School pin, address my class of forty-something peers as "class representative" at the pinning ceremony, have my last brunch amongst sixty-something of my closest sorority sisters at the most beloved address in Fayetteville (502 W. Maple, duh), and then walk across the stage as one of thousands in Barnhill arena. I'll go out to eat somewhere delightful, sleep one last time a few blocks distance from Old Main, and then pull away from Fayetteville for an undetermined length of time. OK, really? Could I have made that sound any more horrific? Probably not.

Here's the thing: Per usual, I'm feeling nostalgic. Sans normal, I'm a little emotional. The last 4 years have been... such a mixture of the normal college experience and the most atypical collegiate daily life liven that I can possibly dream up. I am a member of probably the most incredible sorority, chapter, and pledge class to ever live. Not biased either. We regularly win everything ever given to anyone. I never go a day without feeling super loved, supported, and encouraged by both these women, my family, my peers, and my super hot fiance.

About those peers... I am in nursing school. Soon I will say "I was in nursing school." This is the part of the past 4 years that I have been dying to escape. I try not to complain about my curriculum path, I chose it, I could've chose differently. Here's my opportunity to let it all out... Remember when you were partying on Dickson multiple times a week for the past 2 years? I wasn't, I was completing reading assignments in medical terminology that I still cannot understand at increments by the thousand pages. Remember when you stayed up watching every episode from every season of Friends, Sex & the City, & One Tree Hill? Well when you were going to bed, I was waking up at 5 AM multiple times a week, every week, to go be an indentured slave at a crappy area hospital or nursing homes or some other horrible place. Remember when you were crying because you couldn't stop laughing? I was crying because I was horrified at the bodily fluids I was cleaning up at age 19, regretting every career decision I had ever made, hating my life as a permanent resident of Mullins Library, and a servant of the Eleanor Mann School of Nursing. Remember when you were picking out cute outfits to wear to school or getting to roll out of bed and wear whatever your little college heart desired? Must be nice, I wore a starched, white potato sack of a button down that I have plans to incinerate this week in my driveway. Remember when your advisors gently steered you in the right direction, gave you advice and choices? No. I don't. I remember being sassed, bossed, and pushed around; made to come to classes that would never appear on my transcript, kicked out of clinical for not completing a TB test I was never told about... yep. WELCOME TO NURSING SCHOOL, LADIEZZZZZ. BYEEEEEEEEEEEEE GOOOOOOOD RIDDANCEEEEEE SEE YOU NEVERRRRRRRRR

About that fiance: the most hunkiest thing I have ever laid eyes on that I cannot wait to marry in approximately 114 days, greet home from Iraq in about a month, walk into our 1st home with soon after that, and thank for the rest of my life for just being the greatest thing as we jointly suffered through long distance, ever pressing toward the goal we are now staring in the face. Encouraging in studies, always incessantly complimenting, God-fearing and serving, I am so excited that the end of school means beginning something so new and great with him.

Those women- those Pi Phi women that I will miss more than I have yet to realize, those blonde bombshell of roommates that I laugh and live with, those nursing school comrades that I have been through the fire with.

Can't wait to post pictures, stories, and fun times from the week to come. Tonight is Pi Phi Senior Farewell, next Monday is my last test, Friday pinning, and Saturday graduation. I promise, ok maybe not promise, to have a minimal number of nostalgic-centered posts for the next month.

Praising the Lord for packing the next week full of shenanigans to go out with laughter, a summer full of reunions with weddings of friends & trips to Arkansas!

gone

I've lost the will to be educated.

Green

Crazy, posting again so soon? I know, I know, must have so much time on my hands! In an effort to soak up my last few weeks in Fayetteville, I'm trying to post as much as I can about this awesome town so the time is ripe for a story and a memory... I have mentioned before how much I love where I live this year in Fayetteville. The location couldn't be better. I have a view of Old Main from my bedroom window, I'm 3ish blocks from Pi Phi (I've never really used "blocks" as a means of measurement before... never been to NYC, what can I say, I wanted to try it out!), am walking distance to the square, AND am a stones throw away from Marvin's IGA. Now, I always thought that real value in property locale was found in proximity to your local grand super center (aka WalMart), I recently have had a change of heart.

Growing up, I lived super close to a Food Lion. Now, I don't really remember much about Food Lion, mostly that I just liked living close to it. Then it changed to an IGA, it was even better. Needless to say, moving into this house has allowed me to flashback to the beauty of living close to a truly local grocery store. Yes, the prices are higher, the selection is slightly more limited, and the generics are less generic, BUT, let me tell you how much it SUCKS to drive to WalMart for a loaf of bread (OK thats a lie, I have never done that)... by loaf of bread I mean can of Pringles and frozen dinner.

Now, back to Marvin's on Lafayette & College... I like it because of previously mentioned reasons but there are a few things about it that aren't that great. For instance: I get judged when I go there. I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before on my blog but Fayetteville is two-faced. 50% of Fayettevillians have one or more of the following characteristics: barbie/makeup/greek/collegians/alumni/athletes/nike shorts/tanorexic (I guess this is where I fall in). The other 50% of Fayettevillians are hippy/dreadlock/deodorant hating/Devils den loving/Toyata Prius driving/bumper sticker mania/birkenstockers. The latter 50% own and operate Marvin's. You get the picture. Therefore, when I shop at Marvin's I feel eyes burning holes in my back as I make my way down the frozen pizza section in my Pi Phi shirt and Nike shorts, as I buy paper towels and harsh cleaning products in UGGS, and (dare I say it), the one time I answered "plastic" at the checkout. Ever since then I have felt nonverbal pressure to go green in weird ways... today when asked, "would you like a bag?" I could've just answered, "Yes, paper please, I love recycling!" Instead I answered, fumbling for words, "NO!" and ran out the door with my waffles and butter. Wow. Not one of my finer moments.

Ignorance is Bliss. And Bliss is Bliss too.

photo blisscupcakecafe.com

Well, I'm still on the emotional roller-coaster called life. Obviously (I'm not dead). Right now I'm on a high; no, not a drug high. A wedding high. And by wedding high, I mean I'm completely, 100%, fully ignoring every aspect of my wedding. I'm not joking, ask my mom. When I was home for Easter I had a meeting with a potential wedding planner scheduled. I broke down in tears just thinking about it, so we cancelled it. Thus we have ignorance. Tah Dah! It's really working for me right now!

Onto other news... Bliss. I haven't yet reviewed the no longer "new" Bliss Cupcake Cafe here in Fayetteville. While others are onto "bigger and better" things, aka Orange Mango, I'm sticking to what I know as the true dessert haven here in northwest Arkansas. That being said, allow me to give you a few descriptive words of what I have come to know and love as Bliss, also the employer of one of my best friends, Susanna. Bliss is the most quaint, modern/antique/chic little establishment on the square. It's utterly unique flavor combinations artfully baked into moist perfection are the perfect endings to any kind of day. So saddle up partners and head on over to Bliss. Forget this Orange Mango biznasty, it's a poor excuse for dessert and will leave your sweet tooth wanting more. You want my flavor recommendation? Well you don't have to ask me twice! I recommend Strawberry or Key Lime Pie. P.S... I'll let you all know when I convince the owner to incorporate BACON into one of her confectionary delights... my dream come true.

PS: I'll be excited to post after my soon-to-come BEST WEEKEND EVER!!! My WHOLE family is coming for the weekend! It's Mom's Day for Pi Phi (aka one of my favorite functions EVERRRR), my first bridal shower (YAYYYYYY), Maddie's 19th birthday (Sunday, WOO HOO), and just a great weekend to be in Fayetteville!

May you all be blessed with Bliss this week and may none of you ask me about the wedding that I'm ignoring.

The face of a poet

This is the face of a blossoming poet. See post below.

absence

I apologize for my extended leave of absence. I have several things to catch up on in the blogging world. I will keep this brief, as I am home for Easter and my time is rather occupied...

Here is a Limerick I threw together as an outlet regarding my feelings toward wedding planning...

There is currently a bride planning a monstrosity of a wedding.
Whose ideas are brilliant but nobody gets them.
She is miserable,
And wants to elope,
But is 6 feet under and not coming up for air anytime soon woof on weddings.

don't critique me.

Hope you enjoyed that. Mrs. Strayhorn from 5th grade would be proud. I, on the other hand, am floundering, fighting back tears, and literally caught up in chaos, out of control planning, excessive ideas, and a monstrosity of a wedding. Feel free to bail a sister out and fly Karl and I to Vegas.

Bridezilla

Hunan DYNASTYYYYY

Well, actually it's called HUNAN MANOR but I never get to use the word Dynasty, which is the name of my blog and this is a very appropriate substitute because let me tell you... Hunan Manor is Dynasty Living at it's prime.

UPDATE: I have every intention of having this blog printed in coffee table book form, not simply for my pleasure but for my children. I'm not pregnant. BUT, I think that this blog is a special way to have written and photographic memories for my future children. Also, if I get some horrific illness or die tragically, my kids will have little words of wisdom and life lessons from me in post-form. That being said, something came to mind today about chinese food as I was eating an egg roll gifted to me by my roommate, Charis. Future children, your mama's not fat (or at least she doesn't think so) but here's the right way to eat an egg roll: put some chap-stick on before you bite into it. Why you ask? Because that way all the fried outside pieces will stick to your lips instead of falling into the bag or on the plate and you can savor every bite, not wasting a single one. Your welcome. Love, your mom.

Allow me to give you some background information, you look a little confused. As I prepare to leave the city of Fayetteville, I am sort of doing the opposite of "nesting," "migrating," if you will. This migrating of mine involves a little nostalgia, a lot of thinking, and a touch of gluttony. Explanation as follows: I love Fayetteville. This love has had to grow as I haven't always been so fond of the city of lights angels hills, hippies, & hogs. Over the past two years I have grown extremely enamored with certain characteristics of this city, I know that this is a special place and one that I will miss. The people, the scenery, the food, activity, architecture, homes, history, greek life.... all of that is for another post although it is closely linked with the highlight of this one. Today, dear friends, today is Hunan Manor's 15 minutes on DynastyLiving.blogspot.com. This goes back to the gluttony that I promised an explanation to...

Hunan Manor was established in 1991 with drive-through service as well as a full-dining menu and in 2008 opened a beautiful but casual and architecturally interesting location on Wedington Drive in Fayetteville. Hunan Manor specializes in Hunan and Szechuan style food. On the weekends, I like to enjoy the lunch or dinner buffet or during the weekdays, sometimes the drive-thru lunch menu is more my style.

I wish I could adequately describe the full-bodied flavor of the bacon-fried rice (if you know me AT ALL, you know that bacon is literally the key to my heart), or the phenomenon of the crunchy coating of the lemon chicken yet the juicy tenderness of the meat within, maybe soup is more your thing... egg-drop soup at Hunan Manor is to me like afternoon tea is to The Queen of England.

Egg Rolls. All I need to say about the egg rolls at HM is that when I order to-go, I get two. That's because I eat one in the car on the way home.

HM is so satisfying, so delightfully filling, it pushes you to be the glutton within us all, it makes you eat more than you knew you ever could, I think I eat so much I increase my intracranial pressure (I'm not kidding). You. Won't. Have. Room. For. A. Fortune. Cookie.

Today I ate at HM. In order to fully appreciate the salty, rich, variety of flavor, I ate a cupcake beforehand. That way I would need salt to balance all the sweet. That way, I would NEED HM.

Bling Bling, she's got her RING!

I flew home this weekend for a very special occasion, MY OLDER SISTER'S ENGAGEMENT!! Remember when I introduced Jeremy to the world in a post several months ago? Well, she moved on and it's a different guy. PSHT, JUSS PLAYIN'! So, after a lot of planning, lying, deceiving, sneaking around, and lots of surprises, THEY'RE ENGAGED!! We are so excited!! You may want to steer clear of The Cuppett household for the next several months, I have a feeling it's going to be 100% chaos as we plan two weddings to take place this year! Sorry, Dad.




Maybe you could all pray for Jeremy as he prepares to enter our family... dun dun dun duhhhhhhhhh......

Late-Breaking News

So, I'm currently on a Skype date with Karl. I've been looking forward to this alllll week! He works 6 days a week, 14 hours a day. As you can probably figure out this leaves little room for conversation with me, sleep, and just life in general so when he gets his day off each week, it is literally the best thing. Well, we are Skyping and I look away for like 2 minutes and the next thing I know, he's asleep! Like, literally as I type this I'm watching him sleep. Here's the thing, he is sooo tired and I know that his body needs sleep so badly, and he looks so sweet BUT I can't help but want to wake him up. I've already cracked all of my knuckles in front of my computer's microphone, coughed (a lot), and I'm typing as loudly as possible. Nothing. Not one flinch from him. Dang. I'll let you know what I come up with. Luckily I didn't waste my time shaving my legs for this date, it definitely wouldn't have paid off :) haha

Wardrobe Change

Holiday Head stays pretty busy year round, but with Valentines so close to Mardi Gras this year, "whoa" is all I can say. She had a quick wardrobe change and has really been flaunting her stuff ever since Monday morning. We tried to give her our best since she can't be out on Bourbon Street and all, it's not the safest place for hollow glass, BUT, she seems to be pretty content here, all festive and all. Noel's sister sent her the outfit featured in this picture, thank The Lord. HH HATES when Mardi Gras goes uncelebrated so we were really relieved to see that we would be able to really go all out for her. Also, she's in a particularly good mood because she won the baby in the king cake. Luckily Kevin, our crane, wiped her mouth off for her before I took the pictures. Thanks, Kev! Anyways, enjoy because St. Patrick's Day will be here before we know it!

Lately

Lately life has been busy and I've been doing everything I can to just keep things under control! I have had to be so diligent about staying on top of school work like I never have before in preparation of wedding chaos ensuing at any moment... I'm kind of at that point in planning where everything I've done prior to now has just been like, for fun. Just planning because I could and now, now is a whole different story. Now I'm planning because deadlines are approaching and because TheKnot.com has been throwing social taboo in my face about booking and accomplishing or die. On another note, Valentine's Day treated me right. Thursday brought a gorgeous bouquet of fresh red roses from my dad, Friday the USPS didn't let me down (for once) and showed up at my door with a nice full box from my mom! It was chock full of goodies, thanks Mom for forcing me to eat an entire bag of assorted Ghiradelli chocolates in 24 hours, my wedding dress & tailor are so happy with you. Saturday brought a card from my grandmother and the l-o-v-e holiday continued even today when I got a valentine from Callie and Jeremy! A few weeks ago, Karl gave my the biggest, baddest, craziest gift a little early... he is helping me go on a cruise for Spring Break!! Happy Valentine's Day to me, woo hoo!! Back to Friday night... I saw Valentine's Day with some of my favorite girlfriends after a sushi dinner and topped the night off with a Butterscotch spiked coffee, all compliments of my parents who sent me cash money for my night out (THANKS MOM & DAD!!!)... de.light.ful. I would say it was a successful early Valentine's Day celebration. Now, enjoy some pictures and please pay special attention to Holiday Head, whom we all love and adore. She loved channeling Lady Gaga this February as she modeled glittery heart-shaped shades and some classy heart-shaped beads. Also, she's wearing little heart-shaped decals on the outside corners of her eyes, I mean, where else would she wear them!?!

Vote!

UPDATE #2: Well, I've done it again. I forced my little sister to contact (in person) the Faculty Advisor of my High School newspaper. I sincerely apologize, Emma. That is out of the normal realm of MOH duty. Thank you for your service. Don't worry, I'm not done yet... I also emailed "The Arrow," that is Pi Phi's magazine that they send to every Pi Phi, active and alumni, every month or so. Oh still not done... I posted a discussion on Pi Phi's national website under the classified section... WHO. AM. I? Freak. A freak who wants to win a contest.

UPDATE: You know when you do something and then 5 seconds later think, "Whoa, that was not me. A rational, college-educated, sane, God-fearing, classy lady did not just do that. That was someone else"? That just happened to me right after I contacted the University of Arkansas student paper and KHOG... which is Fayetteville's ABC newstation begging them to cover this story. AM. I INSANE? Yes. Also, super extreme, all-or-nothing, dive-in-head-first? Yes. Gee whiz.

I have entered Karl and I into a contest to win a $100,000 wedding from Crate & Barrel and oh my gosh, it is consuming my life. I entered us yesterday and it is all I have thought about since then. It started out me just fantasizing about how I would plan a wedding with that much money... the food, the music, the lighting and decorations... oh. my. gosh. Mind blowing. NOW, I have turned into a competitive monstrosity. I want to win this so badly. I want it for the wedding, bottom line. BUT I also want it because I know it is sooo attainable...

Here's the contest... you write your love story in 100 words or less, describe your dream wedding in 100 words or less, and describe your dream day after the wedding in 100 words or less and upload a picture of you and your fiance. THEN, people vote until April 21st. You can only vote once for the duration of the contest, which I like... as if I'm not neurotic enough trying to get people to vote once, all I need is to try and get those same people to vote daily! WOOF. NEXT, the 50 couples with the highest number of votes go to the next round... a panel of judges picks the winner, as well as the 2nd-18th places. Y'all, the prizes are AWESOME! ALL OF THEM!

I want to win SOOOO BADLY! You can all help. Please, pretty, pretty please go vote for Karl and I if you haven't already. It literally takes less than a minute and I have been ASSURED that there is NO SPAM involved for those who vote!

http://www.ultimateweddingcontest.com/entries/26835

Dear John, Scratch that...

Dear John God... why did you let me go see that movie?

My review (SPOILER ALERT!!!)...
If you aren't in a relationship with someone you love more than life itself who is currently serving our dear Uncle Sam in war ravaged desert country, if you aren't emotionally unstable, if you don't have an imagination that runs more wild than Max's (ahem, Where the Wild Things Are), if your soul doesn't rip for those mangled by the brutality of infidelity, if you don't have a soft spot for cancer patients or autistic parents, if your heart doesn't ache for those who lose love, if you could care less for lonely and lost veterans who come home to nothing but an empty house and a multi-million dollar coin collection... than this movie is for you. On a totally opposite note, I somehow liked it. It was relatable, but not. It was very pro-America, very real, and could never survive on Lifetime. I give it a one-time-two-thumbs up. I know, confusing. Hope your cold and hard heart enjoys it, mine did, sort of.

Justice & Bones

I'm 99.9% opposed to people blogging about feelings. Right now is like that .1% because today I'm a little bit mad.

-I'm mad that Karl is gone and that if the internet is down here or there, we don't get to talk. And by talk, I mean communicate. And by communicate, I mean carry on our almost 3 year relationship that is quickly leading to nuptials.
-I'm mad that I had to go to school in hazardous conditions today when all of Fayetteville is still 6 feet under snow & ice.
-I'm mad that I just ruined my beautiful seafoam green quilt coverlet that my Gam gave me... vintage Saks... because I was studying for a test when Karl called, the internet went out, and I freaked out and mindlessly left the blue highlighter open, on the bed.
-I'm mad that I just took a test that I studied my butt off for and it didn't pay off and I'm mad that I'm drained and exhausted going for round two for tomorrow.
-I'm mad that my shower hasn't had hot warm water since I got back from Christmas break and my landlord couldn't care less, obviously due to the numerous phone calls and ruthless voicemails I've left.

I probably won't be mad tomorrow, and as a recent article highlighted Matt Chandler's coping with his brain cancer, I too should be trying to "suffer well," because my fiance fighting war in the desert isn't that bad, nor are my hands that wreak of Shout, despite my worthless efforts to remove the stain that will undoubtedly send that precious quilt to the trash. Praise God that Karl is fighting war, ALIVE AND WELL, and that I have a backup quilt hung in my closet, freshly dry cleaned.

May God throw you all bones of justice... seriously.

Eat Less Chikn

Move over Chick-Fil-A cows... I'm here to spread a different message! I am officially in the middle of my rotation at Tyson Chicken plant in Springdale, AR and let me tell you, it is the most interesting clinical experience I have ever had. My day consists of the following:

- Sitting around, a lot. A whole lot.
- Reading for Critical Care, which is actually a very good use of my time, totally unrelated to the clinical but time management nonetheless
- First Aid. I do quite a bit of first aid, but these are not your average injuries. Allow me to paint you a picture... stab wounds in the chin of a grown and bearded man. Why? Because when his beard hair net fell instead of pulling it back into place with his FINGERS, he POKES it back into place with his KNIFE. As in the knife that he has been dismembering raw chicken with... Stab wound on the arm of a woman because the person she was working next to pointed at something WITH HER KNIFE and accidentally cut her. This is not a joke. The MOST ridiculous wounds! I spent about 10 minutes one day cleaning CHICKEN BILE out of a woman's eye, yes, chicken bile.
- Gagging at the smell. This is a live kill plant, as in kill, defeather, debone, package... the whole shebang. It stinks BIG TIME. The parking lot is teeming with feathers, not kidding.
- I took a tour yesterday. I was having a dilemma, should I keep my eyes faced ahead so that I don't run into anything? Or maybe cast them downward in order to dodge the chicken fat strewn all over the ground? Should I breathe through my nose in order to avoid getting chicken blood or unidentified liquid from dripping in my mouth? Or should I breathe through my mouth to hopefully not vomit from the smell? I sort of had a little panic attack with my hair net and Tyson embroidered smock on, ear plugs in.

So people, relish in the light and beauty of your normal jobs as I trudge through feathers and chicken parts while caring for the non-english speaking population of Springdale, Arkansas. In the wise words of my Gammy today on the phone, "Have fun and don't kill any Mexicans!" Sure thing, Gam, sure thing.

lump boulder in my throat

I sent Karl off to Iraq today and it wasn't fun. I just wanted some documentation of the day, on the day so here are a few very noteworthy things...

- I don't know why I am ever surprised by the love that my Pi Phi sisters show me. It is showered upon me, time and time again, in good times and in bad, unconditionally. I know it sounds silly, cheesy, stereotypical, and difficult to understand. I wish everyone could experience it. My phone died the day before Karl deployed but since my mom and aunt were with me, I knew I could last until we got to Raleigh the afternoon of Karl's deployment where I could get a charger and turn it back on. I just turned it on and it blew up with texts and emails from the past 24 hours. Who were they from? Pi Phis. Pi Phi best friends and friends that I only see once a week. Pi Phi actives and alum. I am overwhelmed with gratitude and overflowing with appreciation, love, and emotion at the unexplainable bond we have. Silly? Maybe. Real, continuous, by and through the grace of God? Absolutely. Thank you sisters for your incessant encouragement.

- The same love shown to me by Pi Phis, also poured out by my mom and dad's small group friends, church members, nursing school friends whom I've gone thru the academic good/bad/ugly with now tromping thru personal life hell, and old high school acquaintances. Nothing really warms my heart quite like an outstretched hand and an offered prayer. Praise The Lord for warming and softening the hearts of those who are willing to offer their time and grace to pray for those in need. I am in need, Karl is in need, and God is placing SO MANY in our lives to meet our needs.

-The bond of military spouses, children, and the military community in general. I wish I could explain this in greater depth... what is a fiancee new to deployment processes and norms to do when her one and only link to the military world is now out of reach? This is where other spouses come into play. Sweet women who offer up their contact information to people like me who just don't have a clue, men in uniform lucky enough to be staying behind and talkative enough to offer words that bring peace as my loved one boards a plane for a place so unfamiliar to me, kids playing together that have never met as their moms trade stories of their husbands deployments. It's obnoxious, it's stereotypical, it's utterly necessary and vital.

I wish each of you could've been with me, seen the impact that your specific words had on me. Felt what Karl & I felt as you prayed for our peace. I'm praising God for each of you.

-Tonight I talked to Karl once he landed in Ireland. I held it together. I wanted to just let it go, which actually happened once my phone was turned on and my inbox was flooded as I got ready for bed in London's bathroom. My chest is sunburned from standing out in the sun all day. A literally painful reminder of the crappy day. I didn't want to wash my face, to brush my teeth, to change clothes, to move on and sleep, to move into another day. But I'll go to sleep, because when I wake up I'll be one day closer to marrying Karl, to seeing him day in and day out. When I wake up I'll be more thankful and have a better attitude, closer to the one that I should have now... I'm thankful for his safe job. Thankful that he has a job at all, actually. Thankful that there are dozens, DOZENS of people praying for him.

Progress

I know this is going to sound ridiculous, but I struggle with the idea of working; there, I said it. Lazy, in my opinion, is the last word that could be used to describe my personality so I know that has nothing to do with my desire to be a non-working, yet completely productive member of society. My desire is to be a super involved, stay-at-home mom but that is for a much, much, much later chapter in my life. For the more immediate future, I am making progress. I realize that I need to probably use my $60,000+ education that I have shed blood, sweat, and tears over for the past 4 years. So today, as I have said, today I have made progress. Probably at least once a day someone asks me what I want to do with my nursing degree. My response, I either leave the questioner speechless with a blunt, "well, ideally not work a day in my life," or I lie, "I'm not sure yet, just nothing in a hospital." Part of the lie is true, I have yet to experience work in a hospital that isn't miserable or vomit inducing. So, back to the progress I made... for the first time since starting school, today I'm glad I'll be a full-fledged nurse come May 8th. Why? Haiti. I usually have a really hard time grasping the reality and gravity of natural disasters or acts of terrorism and if you were to talk to my roommate, Charis, about this she would tell you that I have a bad habit of cracking horribly insensitive jokes about these two tragic things. I have been watching the news and reading the blog of a missionary family that serves in Port Au Prince and my heart is aching for this country and it's people. Someday soon, it will be completely within my control to be apart of relief efforts, God forbid something like this happens again during my working career. That is neat. I feel a little inspired, I know the picture is super dramatic... and maybe it is a Navy Lieutenant Doctor in the limelight but I see that guy in the T-shirt holding that bag of IV fluids, THAT COULD BE ME... Also, I haven't mentioned this idea to Karl. Surely he'll go for it, he's strong and can dig people out while I save them. Maybe I'll use this degree after all...

Sneak Preview

With Karl in town came a whirlwind of wedding planning! While he was here we registered, signed the venue contract and deposited on it, picked a save-the-date & invitation, chose a jeweler for wedding bands, and worked on our cake stand and another craft project. Right before he came into town I conquered a few more wedding to-do's... my dress is officially being altered, our table linens and setting have been chosen, and bridesmaid dresses were purchased, ordered, and delivered! Karl's been up to his own task list as well, honeymoon: booked. Perfect.

I really wanted Karl to be a part of the whole planning process so that he didn't just show up at the alter surprised by choices and decoration. It has been so fun and such a blessing that he has been willing to give his input throughout the process, I haven't had to make any major decisions without him by my side. It has been wonderful! Also wonderful, his impeccable shabby chic taste, which happens to be similar to mine. Yes please.

As wonderful as planning our special day is, it's really not. Let's be honest, I wish the wedding were tomorrow for more reasons than one. Planning is officially stressful and the only things left to be conquered, aren't that fun. Case in point: catering. Finding a caterer isn't fun. Caterers are expensive, don't offer what I want, aren't able to see my vision for the wedding, and impose their opinion and vision on me... bad idea. Every appointment with a caterer or discussion about catering usually ends in me saying, "I don't want to talk about the wedding for like at least a week!!!!!" I just can't wait to enjoy the wonderful day that my mom and I are so strategically planning. More importantly, I can't wait to be married to Karl, to live in the same state city house as Karl, and enjoy life with him after what will be over 3 years of long distance dating!

Speaking of Karl, please pray for us (him in particular), as he deploys to Iraq on Tuesday. I leave for South Carolina on Saturday as my precious mom & aunt and I will see him off, I just can't believe that this time is here already. Such a crazy year this will be as we experience so many "firsts" and I continue to see what military life is like!

BTW (by the way), enjoy the sneak preview of the wedding venue, see above picture