Me+the ER+and steak stuck in my throat.

Never a dull moment here in Hannah land.  I've been looking forward to a visit from Allison & The Johns' kids for a couple of weeks now and Karl & I have just been SO excited about it!  I mean like, over.the.moon.  This house needed some serious livening up and they were just the people to do it for us!  They got here at 7ish on Sunday night and Karl & I had dinner almost ready.  That means they were here for less than an hour before I started the worst 8 hours of.my.life.  This story is almost embarrassing.  But I swear there is something wrong (anatomically or pathophysiologically... that has yet to be determined) and I'm not a sloppy eater so keep that in mind and don't judge me.  So... I got steak stuck in my esophagus.  And this isn't the first time it has happened.  But it is the first time I had to go to the ER for it.  Yes, you read that correctly.  It used to happen in college when I would eat microwavable pancakes in the parking lot of UBC but it would last for like 15 seconds, it happened at a Young Life fundraising banquet here in Sumter but lasted less than 5 minutes (super embarrassing), and it happened at my cousin Jade's wedding when I was helping to photograph the event, yeah, horrible timing.  That last time it lasted over an hour but dislodged in the car on the way to the ER.  So, anyways, this was not my first rodeo.  So.... Karl & I left our guests here and headed to the hospital to find a packed ER.  Fortunately, I was triaged back within about 20 minutes (only to find out the triage nurse thought the food was in my trachea- are you serious??  It took you 20 minutes to get me back when you thought it was in my trachea??)  BUT unfortunately, it was another, oh, 1 1/2 hours before I was seen by a doctor.  Lemme describe to you what is happening for the now 4 hours that I have had this steak stuck in my throat... NOTHING can get past it- saliva, water, NOTHING.  So, without TMI, go ahead and figure all that out.  There was LOTS of vomiting going on.  Still not sure how something was coming up but NOTHING could go down.  The doctor seemed to be familiar with what was happening because although it took him an eternity to get to me, it took him all of 5 seconds to make a plan- IV med to relax my esophagus then esophagoscopy to remove it.  After an hour waiting for the nurse to come start my IV and push the med, I was beyond.  Like, wanted to jump out of my skin.  I was soooooo so uncomfortable and felt like I was going crazy.  Worst feeling ever.  So the first part of the plan didn't even work, although the nurse was really nice.  She did, however, also insist on giving me some valium to "take the edge off," which actually brought more edge on because then all I wanted to do was lie down but I couldn't because I had to sit up to keep relieving myself of the saliva that couldn't go down my throat.  THEN the GI doctor had to be called in (READ: wait.) And I was put under for the scope.  Next thing I know I'm awake, I no longer have an expensive cut of meat lodged in my throat, I'm crying uncontrollably, and I feel only slightly better than I did before... my body does not agree with whatever esophagus muscle relaxant they gave me, morphine, valium, and versed all given within, oh, about 2 hours of each other when my fluids were low thanks to profuse vomiting and no IV fluids.  Smart move, county hospital.  Anywayz.  Karl was a rockstar and totally played it cool the whole time while I was an emotional, pained, & irritated mess.  And there's nobody else I would've felt that OK abandoning at our house- The Johns' were so sweet and they are basically family so obviously it was no big deal to them to be left and they were just worried about me.  Literally stumbled to the car (stopped to heave) at about 3 am and then home where Karl claims he had to put my pajamas on me, although I have literally no memory of this.  He also claims that I said while crying, "I'm chasing the beanie dogs, I have to catch the beanie dogs."  You mean weenie dogs?  "No, beanie!! wahhhhhhh."  So, I have a follow-up appointment next Tuesday before Karl & I leave for Little Rock where I have a feeling they'll refer me to a gastroenterologist for a scope with esophageal dilation to figure out what the problem is.  In the mean time, I won't ever lock eyes with steak again.  More on our visit with The Johns' tomorrow, after you have time to digest my drama... pun intended bahaha.  And yes, I do have a pictures of what they saw down the scope and I'm proud to show them off.