Entitled

Yesterday this 55 year old big angry black woman came out of me.  I am at a place where I feel so angry, and empowered, like nothing & nobody can tell me "no," that I can't possibly be a 22 year old small framed ginger girl, so that only leaves one person- a 55 year old big angry black woman.  Still confused?  Have I mentioned before that being a newcomer to military life isn't fun?  Oh have I?  Thought so.  Let me rephrase this- I think it is specifically the Air Force that does this poorly- this "Welcome to The Air Force you bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, newlywed, you!  Let us give you support and a booklet and an advocate and all the information that you could ever need!"  No.  I'm literally sitting here laughing at the prospect of that.  Now, I have a sneaking suspicion that the Army & probably even the Marine Corps does this, at least better than the Air Force has done for Karl & I.  Disclaimer: I wouldn't trade Karl's branch of service for anything.  The AF (Air Force) is wonderful for other reasons and I would choose it for us over and over again before I would choose another branch.  I will also take about 9% of the blame for not putting myself out there more and seeking out this 'support' and 'information' that I speak of when Karl & I first got married... although if I had I would've just been disappointed 10 months sooner than I am.  I checked this book (above) out at the library yesterday.  Back to my opener- yesterday this thing crept up in me... I am entitled to information, to knowledge that affects Karl & my life, to knowing how the system works.  I am sooooo sick of trying to get questions answered only to be shuffled around from person to person or for someone to look at me and respond in a, "how dare you ask that?  Don't you know you are just supposed to wait around and see how it plays out??"  Or "What?  You want to know now??  Before it's too late for you to do anything about it??"  No.  Not anymore.  I may not have a choice to comply or not with your office hours that look a little something like this: MWF- closed, TuTh- 8-10, 1-3 (y'all, this is SO NORMAL and not a joke!  Remember my husband that works hmmm, like 12 hours a day, sometimes 7 days a week??  Like 90% of this base has hours like this!!  That is a whole different issue...) but I am done sitting around waiting for Karl to acquire all the information or thinking that someone is going to come knocking on my door with a sliver platter full of sweetness, honey, & pamphlets.  We are in the throws of trying to figure out what is next for Karl after South Korea- that is, more specifically, what I'm talking about.  Well, that AND what South Korea will look like for him- logistics wise.  We have missed out on several things because of being misinformed or not informed at all.  For example, if Karl separates from the Air Force when his contract is up in 2013 he will have no choice on how he is able to pay for education (to put it simply)- this is a problem because had we been informed on the issue when he joined in 2007, he would have a choice, because he had to choose then.  But we missed that boat.  Sweet.  Just one example of probably the 3,000 that we have encountered.  I'm not trying to rewrite any laws here, step on any toes, or be disrespectful toward anyone- I have Karl's best interest in mind for sure.  I am just done feeling bulldozed.  We are just praying for The Lord's guidance in our future- Karl's career path, Air Force, blind steps of faith in where we will live (so hard for me).  So while I am not trying to secure or plan our future, I am trying to gather information so we have knowledge and are not ignorant about what may lie ahead or things we may need to do as responsible adults (financially speaking, things that need to get done for Korea, etc).  So, yesterday, after I reminded myself that 55 year old big angry black women don't cry, they get it done, I marched my ginger self up to the office that wouldn't answer their phone.  Don't want to answer?  That's fine.  I'll come to you and I'll get it done because I am fearfully and wonderfully made and I am entitled... OK I added the entitled part.

Watch out,
Big Angry Black Woman