Quicksand.

I am sinking. I am taking the NCLEX (aka the most important test I have EVER taken) in 24 hours, I just found out that my venue won't hold the number of guests we are expecting, and have had more emotional breakdowns today than I have in the past year combined. I thought my church would be an appropriate place to study today- as I need Jesus- so I went and plopped myself down in our quiet foyer, strategically positioned under a cross- haha- anyways, I watched as our pastor changed the marquee to read, "Choose Joy Everyday." I'm trying. Like, I am really trying. It's hard to "Choose Joy" when you are having to search for a new venue 5 weeks before your wedding, after invitations have been printed, rehearsal dinner location has been chosen, hotels have been booked... I mean, really, am I starring in a reality TV show that I don't know about? I legitimately feel like things happen to me and only me, like, who else would this series of events happen to? Oh, probably the girl that sets herself up for them. Anyways, here I am, studying my brains out for the NCLEX, hoping I pass so that I can actually use the degree that I worked my tail off for over the past 4 years, desperately wanting August 21st to be here so that this journey to the altar will be OVER, and getting really tired of people telling me that, "in 10 years you won't even remember," and "it's all going to be OK." Yeah, I know it's all going to be OK because I have faith and salvation in the God that makes it all OK... BUT that doesn't mean that this doesn't suck MAJORLY 100% ANNNND guess what? I AM GOING TO REMEMBER IT IN 10 YEARS and it's super sad if you don't remember your wedding day details 10 years after you painstakingly planned them. Well, I'm trying to choose joy. Maybe it will be easier to choose joy after my venue has been chosen, you know, that venue that I'm inviting over 400 guests to join me at in 5 weeks.

What am I doing?

On a separate note: I have been a horrible friend lately and totally neglectful of my sweet friends that I have long-owed a phone call to. I am desperate to catch up on life and am just praising the Lord that NCLEX will be over in less than a day so I can get back to life. So, please forgive my absence as less important things have been overgrowing my time the past few weeks, such as Marlene Hurst and her 27 hours of review video lectures.

PS- You know who at you know which venue: you are a miserable, miserable lying & deceptive man. I hope you never book another event in your life.